Make Me Like Mary

I pray anywhere from 10 to 50 times a day, "Lord, make me more like Mary. Make me meek, mild, and loving." I'm not bragging. The reason being that I'm not much like her. I have always had a hard time being like Mary.

I've always been more drawn to the "feisty" women saints like St. Catherine of Siena or the intellectual male saints like St. Thomas Aquinas.

I could completely see myself, like St. Peter, jumping to Our Lord's defense and cutting off the guard's ear in the Garden, only to be rebuked by Christ.

But to be quiet and hidden and so loving that I would offer up my only beloved Child -- now that's a tough one.

I see those women in church who have a whole pew of children and remain calm, grace-filled and beautiful. I have met women who never raise their voices but use a look on their face that makes any man, woman or child stop in their tracks -- not out of fear of her anger but out of fear of displeasing her. This type of Marian woman does not use a Banshee call like I do; she doesn't stomp around in a huff or slam doors or threaten bodily harm.

Mary -- full of grace, full of beauty, full of love, full of justice

But then my mind usually wanders off to ponder something along these lines. God made each of us to have a unique personality and our paths to sainthood are as unique as we are. Therefore, how much of my personality is God-given and how much is (in my layman's terms) "the fallen part"? Can I ever be like Mary? Are all the parts of me that aren't like Mary "the fallen parts"? Boy, that's a lot. How would a God-given part of me be perfected but still be different from Mary?

A Different Sort of Silence of the Lambs

I have been sick for a couple of days. My mother, out of the goodness of her dear heart, came and picked up my children about an hour ago. I settled down to read a book and sleep. Then, it happened. The Silence of no children in the house came crashing down upon me. Do you have any idea how unnerving it is to be in a house where only the jingle of the dog's tag on her collar can be heard?

I do not think I could stand living alone again without noise, without other people. Thank you, Lord, for my mother and thank you, Lord, for the noise that I usually have. May I always be surrounded by my children, their activity and their noise.